Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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