Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
