Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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