He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
