i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
