He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
