Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
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It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
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Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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