i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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