Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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