My cat gives me a boner
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
