dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
