Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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