I puked a lego.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
