At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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