I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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