you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wish you could order shots online.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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