if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize