I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
