next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
