Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Farmville is her only friend.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
