Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
