All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
