I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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