Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?