please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
come find me please
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."