I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.