Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations

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(415): This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations http://tfl.nu/81ve

Replies (7) Good night (743) Bad night (1384)
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(830): View more from Texas

If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice

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(830): If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice http://tfl.nu/5b32

Replies (37) Good night (3811) Bad night (808)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance

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(724): I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance http://tfl.nu/0lmn

Replies (8) Good night (3267) Bad night (617)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.

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(864): Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common. http://tfl.nu/z1qj

Replies (7) Good night (748) Bad night (3313)
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(517): View more from Michigan

the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season

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(517): the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season http://tfl.nu/k0xy

Replies (55) Good night (5030) Bad night (845)
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(647): View more from Ontario

on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..

(1-647): View more from Ontario

who won?

(647): View more from Ontario

THAT is your concern right now?

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(647): on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest.. (1-647): who won? (647): THAT is your concern right now? http://tfl.nu/f9cv

Replies (14) Good night (4754) Bad night (765)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.

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(503): Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/acr2

Replies (7) Good night (1752) Bad night (1001)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.

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(403): I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life. http://tfl.nu/3fnb

Replies (2) Good night (1720) Bad night (763)
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(631): View more from New York

figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.

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(631): figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard. http://tfl.nu/oj4g

Replies (5) Good night (2138) Bad night (1043)
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(914): View more from New York

I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.

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(914): I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me. http://tfl.nu/7a7a

Replies (5) Good night (1484) Bad night (1582)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct

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(860): I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct http://tfl.nu/jyp0

Replies (3) Good night (1687) Bad night (480)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing

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(775): I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing http://tfl.nu/nqjl

Replies (6) Good night (1040) Bad night (476)
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(217): View more from Illinois

You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012

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(217): You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012 http://tfl.nu/onux

Replies (4) Good night (1098) Bad night (567)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.

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(864): I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population. http://tfl.nu/aqkb

Replies (3) Good night (446) Bad night (233)
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(678): View more from Georgia

The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny

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(678): The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny http://tfl.nu/ejq7

Replies (5) Good night (327) Bad night (687)

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