Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.

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  (703): He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations. http://tfl.nu/6vv2
  Replies (32) Good night (931) Bad night (4119)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?

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  (903): u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird? (214): Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb? http://tfl.nu/cbow
  Replies (87) Good night (1829) Bad night (5168)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.

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  (973): when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this. http://tfl.nu/c6uc
  Replies (17) Good night (1613) Bad night (4631)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...

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  (519): Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm... http://tfl.nu/v0t6
  Replies (21) Good night (1258) Bad night (7908)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you

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  (602): Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you http://tfl.nu/ckem
  Replies (11) Good night (2492) Bad night (800)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.

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  (519): You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you. http://tfl.nu/7uzq
  Replies (5) Good night (1974) Bad night (1116)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?

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  (314): She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her? http://tfl.nu/5dev
  Replies (18) Good night (3117) Bad night (751)
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  (+90): View more from Turkey

  I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.

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  (+90): I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later. http://tfl.nu/oo4d
  Replies (7) Good night (611) Bad night (1301)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water

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  (701): I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water http://tfl.nu/kjo7
  Replies (4) Good night (480) Bad night (1647)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.

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  (720): Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong. http://tfl.nu/slbv
  Replies (12) Good night (1149) Bad night (738)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers

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  (484): I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers http://tfl.nu/srrb
  Replies (4) Good night (943) Bad night (610)
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  (+34): View more from Spain

  Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.

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  (+34): Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/s4tk
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (306)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.

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  (484): True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/vrl4
  Replies (2) Good night (955) Bad night (380)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards

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  (540): Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards http://tfl.nu/fozz
  Replies (0) Good night (634) Bad night (282)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground

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  (289): I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground http://tfl.nu/ybdg
  Replies (1) Good night (430) Bad night (363)

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