Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing

(719): View more from Colorado

The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?

(303): View more from Colorado

Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner

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(303): Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing (719): The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors? (303 ): Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner http://tfl.nu/juf5

Replies (13) Good night (2513) Bad night (698)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.

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(303): I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is. http://tfl.nu/uj2o

Replies (14) Good night (3580) Bad night (672)
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(972): View more from Texas

Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose

(214): View more from Texas

962=my?

(972): View more from Texas

Yeah.i

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(972): Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose (214): 962=my? (972): Yeah.i http://tfl.nu/5itb

Replies (12) Good night (2751) Bad night (800)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.

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(570): I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it. http://tfl.nu/aapx

Replies (26) Good night (3516) Bad night (911)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?

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(252): after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went? http://tfl.nu/cg2w

Replies (30) Good night (1451) Bad night (4800)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.

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(774): According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/1yfv

Replies (16) Good night (2829) Bad night (2689)
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(713): View more from Texas

This dude is being a total douche

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps

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(713): This dude is being a total douche (832): Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps http://tfl.nu/sy46

Replies (10) Good night (3765) Bad night (902)
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(512): View more from Texas

I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.

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(512): I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench. http://tfl.nu/bsle

Replies (9) Good night (3251) Bad night (951)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left

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(918): I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left http://tfl.nu/o2bv

Replies (1) Good night (1894) Bad night (853)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.

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(612): Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze. http://tfl.nu/em9r

Replies (6) Good night (2003) Bad night (1304)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities

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(217): Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities http://tfl.nu/y8n2

Replies (3) Good night (2506) Bad night (1333)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk

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(613): Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk http://tfl.nu/x5i0

Replies (6) Good night (1407) Bad night (491)
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(818): View more from California

My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.

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(818): My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap. http://tfl.nu/eas6

Replies (2) Good night (566) Bad night (881)
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(317): View more from Indiana

You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.

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(317): You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow. http://tfl.nu/p8o5

Replies (7) Good night (1529) Bad night (582)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.

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(651): I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night. http://tfl.nu/yvx0

Replies (3) Good night (225) Bad night (377)

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