Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
