3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
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He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
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The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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