you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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