Already got asked if we're dating
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
if only i could text you this smell
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize