On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
