too bad you live with your parents still
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
