Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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