Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So much Jack, so little girl.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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