margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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