god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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