my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
