Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Hippo gnu deer
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I am available for nakedness
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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