make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
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I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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