from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
