He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
