His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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