So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
