was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I love having hate sex.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
How's work?
Spinning.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I need to wash the frat house off of me
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
