Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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