I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
