Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
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Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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