i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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