I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
