i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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