He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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