Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
