after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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