literally had 100 drinks last night.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
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he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
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I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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