I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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