id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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