Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.