I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
