planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
