Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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